Prologue

“Why the sad face, Abby?” Liz asked her. “It’s your birthday.”

She looked at her older sister of seven years. Liz was thirteen, Abby just turning six. She wished she was older and they could hang out together more. But her sister had friends and got to be with them. 

Well, not during the day on summer break. Their father worked long hours with his own fencing company and they had a sitter here.

A sitter to watch her while Liz got to do her own things most times.

Abby shrugged. “Don’t know,” she said.

“Sure, you do,” Liz said, moving in to sit on the bed next to Abby. “Dad will be home any minute with pizza and cake. Aren’t you hungry? You got to pick out your dinner like we always do.”

Her father was great like that. He did everything for them. He cooked, he cleaned, he gave them special dinners for their birthdays.

He couldn’t be their mother though and Lily Sherman wasn’t around. When she was around, she wasn’t present. Abby knew that well enough even if she wished it weren’t so.

She just couldn’t fully understand what was wrong with her mother, and for a young girl craving love and attention from an adult female, she didn’t care there was more bad than good with her mother’s visits.

“I know,” she said.

Liz reached her hand out and rubbed it on Abby’s thigh. “Dad is trying to make it a good day for you. He even took the afternoon off and we went to play mini golf like you asked.”

Her father worked a lot in the summer. Early mornings and long days. She didn’t see him as much as she wanted but understood he had to do what needed to be done.

Nope, she didn’t understand that. She just had been told that enough by Liz.

“I beat you too,” she said, cracking the barest of grins.

“You did,” Liz said. “You’re better than me.”

She was positive Liz had let her win. Her sister played a lot of sports and was good at them. The last thing she wanted was to be allowed to win because it was her birthday.

Or worse yet, because she was the baby of the family and everyone had to protect her.

“I don’t think so,” Abby said. She still was looking at the coloring book on her lap. She hadn’t picked a crayon up to apply it to the pages since Liz came in. 

“I know you want Mom to be here,” Liz said.

She turned her head to look at her sister. “She said she’d come for my birthday.”

Liz sighed. “That was months ago. We haven’t talked to her since.”

“Why does she come and then go away and not talk to us?”

“No one knows exactly,” Liz said. “Mom is sick. Dad told us that.”

“She looks fine when we see her,” she argued.

“Sick in another way,” Liz said. “You know that. She needs help and until she gets it fully, it’s too hard. See how much she upsets you when she comes and then leaves again? Don’t you want to have things be normal?”

“What’s normal?” she asked, crying. “None of my friends have this problem. Even the ones whose parents don’t live together, they still see their mothers.”

Liz hugged her. “I know, Abby. But what fun is normal? Why not be different?”

“I don’t like being different,” she said, sniffling. “I just want Mom to be here for my birthday.”

Abby knew there wasn’t anything her sister could do about it. She didn’t understand why her father couldn’t fix it though. He fixed everything else in life that she asked of him.

“If she could be here, I’m sure she would be,” Liz said.

“There is still time for her to show up,” she said, hoping.

Her sister moved out of her arms and didn’t say a word about her statement.

“Why don’t we go get the plates out and set the table? Then when Dad gets here we can eat the pizza steaming hot and have the roof of our mouths burned with the cheese dripping everywhere.”

Abby smiled. “That’s the best way to eat it.”

The two of them jumped off her bed and went to the kitchen.

The plates were out and down, the table set and they heard two car doors.

She ran to the front to look out the window, saw it was only the neighbor and came back.

“Who was it?” Liz asked.

“I thought it was Mom. It was just the Smiths.”

Her mother didn’t have a car last she knew. If she came, someone would have to bring her.

Or maybe since her father seemed to be gone so long for the food, he was picking their mother up as a surprise.

Yeah, that had to be it!

“You just got a big smile on your face,” Liz said. “What’s going through your head?”

“Do you think Dad is getting Mom? He’s been gone a long time.”

Liz sighed. “Don’t get your hopes up, Abby. He’s not. They are probably just busy at the pizza place. He had to get your cake too.”

“But you don’t know,” she argued. “Dad could be surprising you too.”

Liz didn’t bother to answer and got the glasses down. “Do you want milk with dinner?”

“Sure,” she said.

When her father came in the door ten minutes later, all he had with him was a pizza box and a cake.

She tried to keep the sadness from her face. The tears back too.

“There is the birthday girl ready to eat this whole pizza,” her father said. 

She giggled. He could always make her laugh. 

“I’m going to eat more than you,” she said.

“Then we should eat it while it’s hot, and you can open your gifts after the cake.”

She wondered what she got. She only asked for two things. The new Beach Barbie and the outdoor playset that came with summer clothing.

Liz had never been interested in Barbies and there weren’t any to hand down to her. But her mother gave her her first Barbie a few years ago and she treasured it and wanted to continue to add to her collection and play house when she could.

That perfect life she always dreamed and wished for. What she thought a normal family had.

When they were stuffed with pizza, her father brought the cake out with the six candles on it lit.

“Close your eyes,” Liz said. “Make a wish and blow them out.”

The pink cake was placed in front of her. She knew it was chocolate flavored, her favorite. The candles were pink and white stripes and the flames flickered fast.

She closed her eyes, wished that her mother would show up and then took a deep breath and blew with everything she had.

“They all went out,” her father said. “Good girl.”

She opened her eyes and still only saw her father and sister there.

Her father handed her a few boxes, she ripped into them and got exactly what she’d asked for from him. Like she always did.

She couldn’t wait to go to her room and play. 

“I can play house with you if you want,” Liz said.

Her sister never offered. “Please,” she said, smiling.

It was turning into a great night after all, but when she was in bed by herself and the lights were out, her mother not only didn’t show up, she didn’t even call to wish her a happy birthday.

Abby felt the tears slipping down her cheeks and realized she should have listened to her sister and not gotten her hopes up.